Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Why I'm Afraid of Butterflies

This is a butterfly:

Scary, right? Oh, you think THIS is a butterfly?
WRONG. No, WRONG. Butterflies are terrifying! It’s a weird thing to be so squigged out by, I know, but I am definitely and absolutely afraid of butterflies. Them and their wings. And why so many patterns? Why, butterflies? Trying to get away with something?

The reason I’m so afraid of butterflies is so deeply rooted I can barely remember it, but my mom helpfully reminds me every time a butterfly flies past me.
It was a lovely day, a perfect day for an outdoor wedding. So there was an outdoor wedding! And we were there.

I was maybe two, three years old so outdoor weddings, as lovely as they may be, held absolutely no interest for me. Things that did hold interest for me:

So naturally, I decided to play in some bushes. I must have been within eyeshot because my parents wouldn’t let their very young kid run off alone, but something horrible happened anyway in those bushes.

There I was, building a perfectly lovely house for an ant out of sticks, minding my own little business, when...

I exploded out of the bushes in a desperate attempt to outrun their little beating wings. They kept coming! They wouldn’t leave me alone! So I bolted toward my parents. Running out of bushes screaming undoubtably caused my mom and dad some genuine concern.

Until they saw that there was a swarm of butterflies around my face and all I could scream was “flutterbys!”

Someone saved me or I outran them, but I’ve never had a fondness for the little monsters since. I’m telling you.

They’re up to something.

And as Bart Simpson says: No one ever suspects the butterfly...


  1. Aunt Pat's wedding.

    And the best part--this abnormal fear has transferred to plastic, cutesy magnets and toys! I even had to give away a butterfly dress (you're welcome Heather)! And I had to change birthday party plans.
    Moral: Don't creep Kate out. She never gets over it!!!!

  2. You need to write children's books.

  3. Hahaha! I WILL WARN EVERYONE!!!!!11one.

  4. Thank you, sir.

    ...Well. Actually. I suppose it really WASN'T awesome. A child being chased by insects?!

  5. The first butterfly drawing was THE BEST!

  6. i am so afraid of butterflies! my family keeps talking about going to a butterfly garden, and to this i say:
    because i would end up screaming every time one came near me, and i'd probably (accidentally) kill a bunch of them trying to bat them away from me. which i imagine is frowned upon behavior at such places.

  7. Jess -- When my friends want to TORTURE me, they suggest butterfly gardens. LKjsrg. Hells no. Who would want to go to a garden of butterflies. WLKEJGslgj.

  8. Kate - I love your blog. You're bring back sooo many childhood stories. (PS I love butterflies and I love this story!) -Ashley

  9. Thank you, Ashley! It brings it back for me too!

  10. Well, I happen to like butterflies but I love your little blog, anyhow. If anything, I'm the little brother left up a tree. If I were not old enough to be your Dad's oldest brother, I could be that kid.

    When I was a pre-kindergartener the television was new in our little town. Superman was on. The big kids managed to convince me to tie a towel around my neck for a cape and climb up on the shed and fly. And, so I did. I clumb right to the top (clumb is the past tense of climb, right?) and I took those three little hops that Superman always took and off I went. I could FLY! Straight down.

    I busted my hiney. The big kids wanted me to try it again, with a bigger towel. Unlike your little brother and the tree, though, I only did it the once.

  11. I'm not alone.


  12. im really scared of butterflys even someone pretending to be one when I was seven one kept on following me (a real one) it chased me ive had a fear of them ever since
    my friends are always teasing me by pretending to be them i always get night mares about them one landed on my foot I was so scared I couldn't move in the end my friend had to drag me away

  13. I'm really scared of butterflies when I was 7 I got chased by a butterfly I've been scared of them ever since I get scared of people pretending to be them I get night mares about them and my friends are always teasing me once a butterfly landed on my shoe I was so scared I couldn't move in the end my friend had to drag me away



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