Tuesday, September 28, 2010


My mom sent me an e-mail not too long ago asking if I had ever tried geocaching because it sounded like something that was really up my alley (it does! it is!). I knew what it was and I had looked into it, but I hadn’t ever really gone. I don’t know why. So I dug a little bit and decided: this is it, Saturday afternoon I am going to go geocaching. It’s exercise combined with a SUPER SECRET treasure hunt.

I did a LOT of research into it. And I don’t know if you’ve ever tried geocaching, but their site is a treasure hunt in and of itself. 

I eventually figured out how to look at the difficulty levels and the proximity to my house (though the symbols totally eluded me; I was not even making that angel thing up. Do you DIE on that search???!). I chose my course carefully. I picked one that was about a mile and a half away and planned to jog to the park and back for a little exercise. I slept Friday night dreaming the dreams of kings.

I awoke and drank my coffee for the day.

I got dressed. I PREPARED. I prepared for RICHES and ADVENTURES!

So I started my jog. The jog was completely uneventful. It was hot? but not a bad run at all -- and I hate running. I reached my destination easily. Now I had to find the “cache”. Noooo problem. I prepared my stealthy face so no one would be “on” to me because if there was one thing I learned from the geocaching community, it’s that you better keep those damn caches a SECRET.

I couldn’t find it! I had NO IDEA where this thing was. You see, I didn’t know what I was looking for. I had pinpointed roughly where the object should’ve been and had the riddle (I thought) sussed out but there was NOTHING. I kept looking out of sheer stubbornness.

I started to give up being stealthy and just openly tore the park apart looking for a “cache”. Was it gold? was it duct taped? was it a pot, a pan, a bit of tupperware? I didn’t KNOW.

I completely abandoned any secrecy about the treasure hunt while nice, fine people who wanted to enjoy their day at the park with their kids openly stared, slack-jawed, at this freak in running shorts tearing open their park. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I tried pathetically to keep up the charade.

But I knew it was over. Geocaching had won. It had defeated me. I had no idea where that mysterious object was hidden. And as I realized that if I didn’t leave, someone would start to assume I was a psycho serial killing child molester, I gave one last forlorn look over the park. 

Defeated, I jogged back to my house with a heavy heart, desperately telling myself that I could come back. That it wasn’t over yet. That at least I got some exercise.

But I knew. I knew deep down:

It was over. 

I tried to keep my interest going. I looked up other, presumedly easier caches, but I think the effort was feigned at best.

UPDATE: Hi, geocachers. Welcome!

I'm really sorry I have ruined the game by being completely conspicuous in my search. Please don't be mad. :(


  1. I've heard about geocaching, and Law & Order did an episode about it, but I don't get how people do it. Do you need GPS?

    Btw, those green "erasers" on the site look like penises.

  2. I have never intentionally went Geocaching, but I used to spend a lot of time at Bloom Run Vista, an old sandstone quarry about twenty five miles from where I live. One day I found a rusty, beat up army issue ammo box that turned out to be a geocache. It was pretty neat, but I've never found another one.

  3. I keep hearing this word! Geocaaching - it's still a mystery to me.

    At least your pictures were highly amusing. Sorry you didn't find your object.


  4. Tsaritsa -- Yes! Which I HAVE. And I still failed.

    Adam -- WTF! You don't even try and you find one! Unfair, sir.

    Randa -- Thanks!

  5. You can doodle on Paint better than me, or anyone else that I personally know of. I already like your blog the first time I visit it.

  6. This reminds me of the first time we tried finding a geocache. We HAD a handheld GPS and still could not find the stupid thing. Turns out, we'd looked in exactly the right place, but it was temporarily removed by ANOTHER searcher.

    The first time we hid a box, one searcher got so mad at us because our hint was "Pray for guidance." They thought we were pushing religion at a Catholic shrine. In fact, we'd hidden the box under the stone "book" in front of the shrine.

    This really is a fun activity, don't give up!

  7. Alex -- That's such a silly compliment! I'll TAKE IT. Thank you!

    Peregrin -- I love the IDEA of it, but there are so many variables. It's like trying to solve THIS:

    x + 2zy/ab^2 - c = 1


  8. You, Ms. Kate, are a hoot! :) So glad the Internet led me to your virtual doorstep.

    I have to try this geocaching!! Only if it involves athleticism or physical coordination of any kind, I'm afraid that I will fail shamefully.

    And now, to leave a virtual baby on your virtual doorstep: www.socalledgrownups.blogspot.com.

    Come visit me if you like! I like visitors, especially one who cognizantly refers to herself as "a little red-haired girl." :)

  9. OMG I think I just became your 100th follower! This is such an honor! It's like 7 times better than being the 21st caller and winning Justin Bieber tickets!

    *just did a happy dance in my office chair.*

    Now I should probably get back to being a grown up... :(

  10. I've never heard of this geocaching thing. I did try to Wikipedia it, though, and even that confused me.

    I don't think you should give up though. If anything else, awesome blog stories... ;)


  11. If you said you were looking for one someone would have probably pointed it out to you, locals tend to know where they are even if not what they're for.
    I tried getting into this for a little while but they're so boring out here- They're in plain sight on the hiking trails. I stumbled upon a few before I knew what they were even.
    I can't find the site right now, but there was a group doing something like this only with trading small objects that was pretty cool though.

  12. The main reason we keep the caches secret is that non-cachers will sometimes steal the whole box of goodies because they don't care. Most of our caches lasted at least a few years, but all were eventually taken by outsiders. We still want to start up a couple new caches where we live now, but it takes time, a bit of money, and a good location. We're stuck on the good location, for now.

  13. Stephanie -- Hahahaha, I should've just ASKED. I was trying to be stealthy and AWESOME.

    Calandreya -- Maybe that's what happened. Maybe I was so sluthey that I got it, but someone STOLE it.

  14. I'm still not exactly sure what geocaching is.

  15. Tabs, there's an online site that collects the locations of all commonly known geocaches. If you go there, there are GPS coordinates to each one, plus clues to help you find them.

    People have taken waterproof boxes and containers, filled them with various kinds of goodies, and hidden them "in plain view" for others to find. The protocol is that, once you find a geocache box, you need to replace each item you take with one of comparable value.

    One of our boxes was hidden in an older park. Trees, shrubs and other brush had grown up around an old grill. We hid the cache in that grill. A military-themed box was hidden at a memorial for fallen service members. Comics were left at Heman (He-man) Park.

    You don't have to place geocaches to participate. It's just fine to search for the ones that are already registered. It's a kind of treasure hunt, although truly great treasures are rare.

    I hope that helps.

  16. Hi! Why don't you try BookCrossing instead! It's supposed to be easier (to find the books, I mean). You can find some interesting reading, and the best part is that you don't have to worry about the book storage problems (though I liked your tub idea :D), because you just release the book somewhere for someone else to find! Ingenious! For those who read books, anyway. And have storage problems. And people that don't have... umn... library cards. Damn, forgot the library. But this is more exciting, I'm sure! :D
    Well, here's the link anyway:

    I've now finished reading your entire blog, and I can't wait for your new updates. Thanks for the laughs! Paint images seriously rule! \o/

  17. OuP: I will DEFINITELY check that out. Thanks for commenting! And thank you for the compliments.

  18. Ugh, I downloaded an app for geocaching on my iPhone...it may be what you used bc the format looks similar. I decided to take my dad out with me since we never do anything together. I found 2 within 1.5 miles of me. They were both in the same part. Some other a-hole already discovered them and didn't replace them with anything so we wasted our time looking for whatever it was. Dicks.

  19. OuP, I'm 4libros on BookCrossing. Look me up. ;)

  20. I just started a blog. Although it doesn't have any awesome Paint artwork, I would love it if you would check it out. http://happeningsfromanundisclosedlocation@blogspot.com

  21. Just found your blog. Love it! We've successfully geocached (with four kids in tow) and unsuccessfully geocashed (bee stings and all that). Nice to meet ya!

  22. OK, so I have seen you post on Cake Wrecks now for a while and I finally had to check out your blog! I have not laughed this much in a while!! I loved reading through your stories and your "MS Paint" art is cute and funny and good all at the same time!! I'll be back to hear more of your hijinks!

  23. DLK & Jenniffer: Thanks so much, guys! I'm glad you like it & hope you stick around.

    P.S.: Cala/OuP, I am kind of squeeing with glee. Look at this COMMUNITY LOVE. Warm fuzzies.

  24. HA I love your blog! Today is a great day of finding great blogs...mostly due to giddy fingers as i was stalking her profile and decided to check out her blog roll...glad I checked yours out! too funny and loving the cartoons!
    I am now following you and have put you up on my blog roll so I can stalk your awesome posts as you put them up *smiley face*
    Don't worry it's not creepy, web stalking is sexy and all the cool kids are doing it *winky face*
    have a great day

  25. Your cartoon has green eyeS! nICE!

  26. ive never ever heard about geocaching before

  27. A GPS is usually useful. Did you have one?

    I chose you for the versatile blogger award!
    Go to:
    to recieve it.

  28. We went geocaching for a while. Instead of being honest, like with you, it decided on the playful route. Our first two expeditions, we found the box almost immediately. A little looking but we found the third, too. We did feel the way it was hidden kinda ruined the whole be discrete thing, seeing as you had to climb halfway under the historic bandstand in the middle of a small local park, but ok. Then came hunt numero 4. We did find poison ivy, though, so I guess we still went home with a prize. :\

  29. Hi. This is my first time commenting.

    I like geocaching. But I can't do it anymore because I kind of stole a GPS from my grandparents and they wanted it back so they wouldn't get lost on their six-week trip.

    It was a stupid car GPS instead of a good handheld one. :(


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