Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Leaving Eddie in a Tree



I was not always the amazing older sister you see before you. In fact, I kind of sucked.


When you’re the oldest, you get blamed for just about everything. To combat this,  you have to be cunning -- slick and savvy! You have to create ways to get your younger siblings into trouble. 


I did this all the time, but never so well as the time I left Eddie in a tree.


Eddie was not allowed to climb trees or go in the woods for the following reasons:






So naturally, one day we were playing in the woods he probably wasn’t allowed to enter and I saw a nice, tall tree. 






I pointed up the tree and said, “Hey, Eddie. Climb it.”
Eddie wisely said, “No! I am not allowed to climb trees.”
My evil little ten year old brain did some quick thinking and I assured him that I knew that and that was why I was going to teach him how to climb trees. With a delighted smile, Eddie scampered on up.





And I scampered the hell away.






I made a beeline right for the house and entered with a shout:




Now, I had predicted that she would be angry. I knew the reaction would be one of rage. But there was always a variable -- which child would be the recipient of the anger?






It was Eddie.
My mother blew out of the house yelling at him and walked into the woods. I silently high-fived myself for enacting a perfect “Get Eddie In Trouble” plan then quickly scurried to my bedroom.
I guess my mom got Eddie down somehow because he came home (to my ten-year-old self, what a bonus it would’ve been if Eddie had to live in the tree! I suppose I was hoping a little for this:




But he came home and we lived our lives. I’m sure he was mad, but what could he do? Punishment had been DOLED OUT. I had won.  I walked around gleefully for weeks.





My mom loved the extra help.

Eventually, we wound up in the woods again -- I’m not sure how. And I figured: This worked once! I wonder if it’ll work again. I was a smart kid, so I didn’t think it would -- but nor did it hurt to try!







IT DID. IT WORKED. He climbed up again and my brain exploded into a glittery rain of excitement while I booked it to the house yelling all the way.






I could not believe my luck. I could not believe my PROWESS. I must have become the queen of older sisters that day -- no one could top this. No one. I had TWICE made Eddie climb a tree. TWICE my little brother got stuck up there. 
I was agog when the scenario presented itself again.

































At this point, I wasn’t sure if my little brother was stupid or something, and the glee was wearing off just a little bit. I still told my mom and he still got in trouble, but I think the shine began to wear off around the fourth time. 




And by the fifth time my brother got himself stuck in a tree. It felt too easy. Like I was cheating. It was time to find a new, more difficult way to get him in trouble without receiving any splash off punishment.

23 comments:

  1. I didn't get punished the last time. Just laughed at.

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  2. That is awesome. I should have done this to my younger siblings when I was 10...they definitely would have deserved it!

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  3. Listen, pipsqueak.

    Don't ruin the story.

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  4. Don't listen to Christine, I don't deserve trouble. Anyways, I totally got in trouble lots when Little Brother was bugging me. =(

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  5. Amazing!! As a fellow older sister, I can totally relate :)

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  6. I'm sure your little brother got you back :)

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  7. Haha! Your pictures make me laugh every time!
    I once locked my younger brother in the bathroom because "I didn't want him anymore." The fire department had to be called to get him out. My mother wasn't impressed.

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  8. annnnnd i remember this. ps, thank you for including the thinking hill (or is it a shadow?... i'm gonna go with thinking hill) in your drawing. made my day.

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  9. Lol I can see falling for it maybe twice but five times?? He must have really loved climbing those lovely trees.

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  10. Thanks so much!

    Heather -- YES.

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  11. You remind me so much of my sister...You're brothers not very smart I stopped climbing after three times.

    I showed her.

    Funny Post!

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  12. With elder siblingness comes great responsibility.
    ya. I never learned that either.
    I was horrible to my little brother
    and my daughter was horrible to HER little brother.

    so- are they born brain-damaged, or do WE cause it?

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  13. Greg -- Glad you liked it!

    Luna -- I think we're just evil.

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  14. Heh heh... Ahhh... little siblings. THey're awesome. I made my sister eat so many gumballs, she threw up. RAinbow puke. It was ok, though. We just blamed it on my OLDEST sister. Being in the middle ROCKED.

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  15. your evil face is fucking awesome!

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  16. I'm with Paige. The evil face made the post for me.

    And seriously, Eddie, 4 times? FOUR times?

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  17. Being the first child in my family, I have to say that I was anticipating the next line of this post of yours, in glee :D

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  18. Oh my god, so right. I would bite myself and tell my parents that my sister had done it. That got her in trouble on its own, but it also built up her reputation as a "liar" since she would always deny biting me (she never did bite me, but mom and dad didn't know that). So later, I could blame her for all kinds of things, and they'd think she was just lying. It was a wonderful system while it lasted...

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  19. http://www.vacationcalledlife.blogspot.com

    thats my blog, I guess we both got our ideas from hyperbole and a half. :D

    great post, by the way!

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  20. I would have done the exact same thing to my brother; in fact, I did. It's amazing how they don't learn the first time. It's kind of like a gold fish! But like you, I got bored, so I got him to do other things- like lock himself in the attic and light bugs on fire to get him in trouble! Ah, the days.

    Sara

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